I am not cut out to be an army wife. I can't do this. Not again... I'm so frustrated with the damn army. As soon as he is done with his contract, we are done. I can't take the anxiety. I never expected them to pull this kind of crap. He's only been home 7 months and now they are planning to go to NYC for who knows how long. He's been at work all day (since 7) and things keep changing and it's driving me crazy. They haven't done a damn thing to keep any spouses informed and it's pissing me off. I'm feeling so physical sick from all the anxiety and when I'm anxious I can't eat because my stomach hurts like hell. Oh and saying "at least he's not XXXXXX" doesn't fickin help me at all. He was JUST there. For a year. I wasn't anticipating him going on a mission for at least a year. I expected training exercises and crap like that, but not this. I was not prepared for something like this even happening. I just want my husband home for at least a year like I was told. I'm not ready in anyway to be separated from him for any length of time. Shit, even when he has CQ, I can't sleep at night. I can deal with that, but I can't deal with him going into an unknown situation. Not yet. I'm not ready to let him go. Once it hits a year since it's been home, then I can expect him to leave at any point... but not before that. Being an army wife is not good when you have anxiety problems and eating problems.
I think tomorrow will be better, even if he has to go because at least I'll have work and wont be sitting around all day. Doesn't help that he took the car this morning so I haven't been able to go anywhere and I don't have enough energy to walk the 3 miles to his work and get it.